The Art of Speaking the Truth in Love

​I’ve always been uncomfortable with the idea of speaking my truth. It’s not that I don’t want to say what I am thinking and feeling. It’s just that it seems either arrogant or self-deprecating to do so. I often end up feeling either superior or inferior to another.
Speaking the truth in love is appealing, but when I give that a try, I get so caught up in getting ‘my truth’ out that it ends up being caustic to the ear, and/or hurtful to the heart of my listener. I don’t have a good sense of what is truly mine to say and what is not.
For me, the value of love precedes the value of truth-speaking. Harmony, which I consider to be a synonym for love, is the outward expression of Oneness, an idea with which I am most comfortable. The Buddha points me in the right direction. “If you propose to speak, always ask yourself, is it true, is it necessary, is it kind?” he says.
I find my way to harmony (love) by inverting and editing the phrase. ‘With love, speaking the truth,’ I say. Putting love first takes the edge off of speaking the truth. It’s an art for sure, but one that I can master.